AAC Case File 11: HitOMi
by Boobies of Power
Summary: Anime Hit List Arc: In a strange turn of events Hino Rei of Sailormoon hires the AAC to rub out a menace to the Escaflowne society, Hitomi and the only worthy hitman Kawaii could come up with was Cowboy BeBop's Ein?


**The WARNING!!!:** This is a story written for no other reason than to kill off a character. If that's not your cup of tea, you may want to think about skipping it and reading something of ours that isn't part of the Anime Hit List Arc. Thank you.

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The Disclaimer: We don't own Sailormoon, Vision of Escaflowne or Cowboy BeBop. We do own the Anime Assassin Corps and the Anime Hit List.

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The Notes: This report was altered slightly to accomodate If you'd like to read the original (images+pretty colors+dynamic font) please visit our homepage the Anime Hit List. (Link can be found on our profile page.)

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**Anime Assasin Corps Official Report**

**Case #11: Hit-O-Mi**

The Client: Hino Rei (Sailormoon)  
The Hit: Hitomi (Vision of Escaflowne)

The Intro: Hitomi...

Truly what more needs to be said? Oh, you want more. Um... Okay, here goes. (Don't blame me if I rant on. It was YOU who got me started in the first place!)

DEEP Breath

"Kawaii!!!"

lets out the breath Yes, Chibi?

"You have two sentences to tell them why Hitomi must die. In case you didn't notice the case reporter is slightly hyperactive and she's about to run away!

Ri-ight...

"Now!'

Hitomi is a whiner, diner, looser, dreamer, sucker (especially when it comes to handsome blond guys coming on to her), cheater and she doesn't like cats! DEEEEP BREATH Besides, Rei found out that Hitomi was using her powers in an unseemly manner (having somthing to do with bedroom doors, playing cards, blueberry wine and old music, don't ask... I'm still not sure myself.) and decided Karma should be called into play, even if neither one of them are Hindu. Short enough, CHIBI!!!?!

Chibi rolls her eyes. " So, the hitman you picked was... gasp Are you stupid?"

No, just cute. He's a very capable hitman.

"Whatever!!!"

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The Hitdog: He's the data dog extraordinaire, personal companion of Jet Black and die-hard member of the _BeBop_ crew. He is... Ein!

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_**The Woof-Woof Report**_  
by Radical Edward

Woof-Woof! grins Edward is here to tell everyone about the Woof-Woof's mission. Very secret it was. A-La! runs around in a circle, arms spread wide, making airplane noises, then comes to a stop and looks seriously into the video camera recording her report

The Woof-Woof got his case assignment in the morning and was ready to leave by ten o'clock. Tick, tick, tick. Woof-Woof got Edward to help him. It was a very important thing, this mission and Edward was glad to be a part of it! Edward and Woof-Woof depart from the _BeBop_ and arrive on Earth at a race track.

There was a girl and a boy. The girl was begining to run when Woof-Woof Ein jumped on her. "Ouch!" she cried, (oh so dramatically) and fell to the ground.

"Hitomi," the boy said, helping her back up.

"Thank you, Amano. This wretched dog-"

"Wretched dog?" Edward yelled back. "This is Ein. Edward is Edward. You are Hitomi and he is Amano. Ein the Woof-Woof is NOT a wretched dog, Hit-O-Mi!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, little boy," she said, not sorry at all. Edward does not like Hitomi.

"Woof!" said Ein. He ran over to me. Ein is a very good puppy. Edward gave the Woof-Woof a little package that Ein took over to the meanie Hitomi. She looked at it like it grew ears.

"Amano, get that thing away from me!" She sheltered behind the Amano boy. The Amano boy held his hand out to Ein. AAAAAHH!!! Was that a flash of red, Edward sees!?! Red is good. Red is AAC Color. The Amano-Amano was a good friend. Edward smiled. Woof-Woof Ein smiled. Amano-Amano smiled. Hit-O-Mi did not smile. Edward wonders why.

Ein cuddled up to Amano-Amano. "Oh, look, Hitomi. He's harmless and so is she." He pointed to Edward.

"She? Amano, I don't think..."

Who could have guessed?

Edward smiled bigger. "Edward is a girl," said Edward. Hit-O-Mi's faced scrunched up.

"Why don't we get some lunch? Hitomi? Edward?"

"Lunch! Lunch! Yum! Yea! Lunch! Lunch! Crunch! EEE!" Edward likes the resturaunt Amano-Amano took her to. Faye-Faye never was this nice to Edward or Ein.

"Did we have to bring the dog in?" Hit-O-Mi asked.

"He's a friend." This from another boy. He had black hair and a sword. Oooh! Shiny!

Hit-O-Mi dropped her fork. "Do- Do I know you, Mr..."

"Van. Just Van and no, but I do know Ein and Edward here, Hitomi," Ooh, ooh! Was that contempt in his voice? Edward can't tell, but Woof-Woof Ein found the time to get the contents of the little package mixed in with Hit-O-Mi's shitake's.

"I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before." Hit-O-Mi snatched Van-Van's wrists. "It's you isn't it? The one from my Vision!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Hitomi." Amano-Amano jumped in. "He's just a friend of Edward's."

"Friend of Edward's!! Friend of Edward's!!! Hello, Van-Van!" Edward effectively rescued Van-Van by grabbing his arm and knocking the Hit-O-Mi away. Hit-O-Mi fell back into her chair.

"You're right, Amano. He couldn't be the one from my Vision."

"Amano-Amano, Edward is hungry! Van-Van is hungry! Woof-Woof Ein is hungry!"

"So eat. You should eat, too, Hitomi or you'll never break 13 seconds." Edward scarfed her food. So, did everyone else, even Van-Van. Bellies full and happy faces, except for one.

"Oh, Amano... I don't feel so good." Hit-O-Mi was sick sick. Boo-hoo.

"Perhaps, you could use some blueberry wine?" Van-Van is soo funny ha ha!

"Or some of these?" said a tall blond man, slapping a deck of cards on the table. The three of hearts was the top card. It was torn in half.

The Woof-Woof barked the tune to a twentieth-century song, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot!"

"Now all she needs is a bedroom door," said Amano-Amano. "Allen? Van? What do you say?"

"Bedroom door?... Uh, guys, what's going on?"

"Woof!" said Ein in response.

Edward's turn! "Did Hit-O-Mi know that under certain stressful situations, the Mushroom Samba is played along the strings of time and snaps them like turtles!"

"What are you talking about, little boy-girl wierdo?"

"_She_ means that you," said Amano-Amano.

"Are about," said the Allen-man.

"To die, Hit-O-Mi!" finished Van-Van Majesty.

Hit-O-Mi searched everyone's faces frantically. "But, why?"

"Well, we're here because a certain Sailor Senshi beat us to the hire and we wanted a piece of you more than she did." How elegantly Van-Van Majesty puts things.

"As for why you're here..." The Allen-man pointed to the torn card. "Figure it out."

"But I didn't DO anything!?!"

"Wrong! You left Amano-Amano to your best friend when he wanted only you. You dumped the Allen-man for Van-Van Majesty and then you left Van-Van Majesty FOREVER!!! The Mushroom Samba starts now!"

Hit-O-Mi fell face foreward into her shitake's. Messy messy girl, Hit-O-Mi.

"Thanks Ein and Edward!" Amano-Amano said.

"Ein has delivered us from the rages of Hit-O-Mi," said Van-Van Majesty.

"We've been saved," said Allen-man.

"Woof!" said Woof-Woof Ein.

Edward says Mushrooms are NOT good to eat for anyone but Hit-O-Mi.

reaches over to flip off the recording, blank screen

**Mission accomplished: September 21, 2001**

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The assistant hit team:  
Radical Edward, Amano, Van, Allen 


End file.
